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What a Mentor is: A wise and trusted friend A good listener; someone who cares Someone who has been there Someone to help you get to where you want to go What a Mentor isn't: An ATM machine A movie pass A chauffeur A nag

A mentor can be an adult you already know-a teacher, a coach, a neighbor, a family member. A mentor can also be an adult you don't know...yet. You can find a mentor if you know what to look for. It is often just a matter of asking.

At Home...Talk to your:
Parents and adult relatives
Friends
Neighbors

At School...Talk to your:
Guidance Counselor
Favorite teacher
Guest speakers

At Recreation Centers...Talk to your:
Coaches
Counselors
Youth Club Leaders

At Church or Synagogue...Talk to your:
Minister or Rabbi
Family Friends

At Local Businesses...Talk to your:
Employees
Managers
Owners
Your boss
Your co-workers

Through Local Mentoring Organizations...Such as:
Big Brothers/Big Sisters
Boys Clubs/Girls Clubs, Inc.
Cities In Schools
YMCA/YWCA

It's okay to have more than one mentor. In fact, it's SMART. Do what most successful people do: assemble a team of experts. Think of them as your very own "mentoring team."

A mentor can help you:

What do you need help with?

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What do you want to learn?

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Who is already helping you or who else could give you help?

First think about all of your different needs. Maybe you need help with schoolwork. Maybe you're ready to think about a career, or explore college options. Maybe you just need someone to talk to, someone neutral, who will be able to give you good advice.

Make some notes about what you'd like to get out of a mentoring relationship. It is easier to ask someone for help if you yourself know what you are asking for.

Make a list of all the people you know who might be able to be your mentor or to help you find a mentor. Be sure to consider the full range of possibilities, including family, friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, club leaders, ministers, and others. Think about what things different people can help you with.

Think about how you might approach them. You may want to call on the telephone and arrange a time to meet and talk in person. Or, you may want to stop by in an informal way. Ask if this is a convenient time to talk to them for a few minutes and ask for their help.

Ask them to be your mentor or to help you find a mentor.

Do it! Go out and ask. Just follow these steps:

1. Tell them what you want from a mentor.
2. Tell them why you thought they would be a good mentor.
3. Ask if they would be willing to be your mentor, or to help you find a mentor.
4. If they say "no," they don't have the time, you should say thanks anyway, but perhaps they could suggest someone else to whom you might turn.
5. If they say "yes," set up a time for the two of you to have your first meeting. And offer them a copy of the tear-off card from the back of this brochure. This will give them a little more information about what it takes to be a mentor.

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Don't give up, and don't get discouraged. You may hear a no from four different people before you hear that magical yes from person number five. Babe Ruth struck out 1,330 times, but he also hit 714 home runs. Jackie Joyner Kersee overcame chronic asthma to become a double gold medalist at the Olympics in track and field. Don't worry about failing. Worry about the chances you miss when you fail to try.

Here are some reminders of how to put your best foot forward when asking someone to be your mentor, or in any situation:

Appearance:

• Wear clean, comfortable clothes.
• If you choose to wear jewelry or make-up, don't wear a lot.

Attitude:

• Be willing and eager to talk; be willing and eager to listen.
• Be honest.
• Psyche yourself "up" for the discussion. When you practice acting enthusiastic and positive, you actually begin to feel good.
• Look at the mentor when speaking to him or her.

Behavior:

• Take a pen and paper with you in case you want to jot something down.
• Greet the mentor by name.
• Remember to thank the mentor for their time and attention.

Conversation:

• Don't be too nervous about pauses in the conversation. They are natural. It is okay to say, "May I have a moment to think about that?"
• Avoid one-word answers. Try to hold up your end of the conversation.

Dear Adult:
This young man or woman is asking you to be their mentor. You probably have a few questions. We will try to help you answer them.

What is a mentor?

A mentor is someone who, along with parents, provides young people with support, counsel, friendship, reinforcement, and constructive example. Mentors are good listeners, people who care, people who want to help young people bring out the strengths that are already there.

Why should I get involved?

• Because young people need positive, successful adult role models.
• Because young people need guidance in setting and achieving goals.
• Because a relationship works two ways. You stand to gain from the insights of a young person. Helping them succeed is a great source of satisfaction.

How much of my time will it take?

Time devoted to mentoring is a very important issue. You must realistically assess the time you have in a day, in a week, to devote to mentoring this young person. Factor in the needs of the person asking you to be a mentor. You may find that you can't. If you can't, we ask that you suggest someone else who might help. Or, take a simple, short-term project with the young person. It doesn't have to be a lifetime commitment. Sometimes a little help can go a long way.

How should you get started?

• Ask the young person how you can help them.
• Ask them how often they would like to meet and for how long.
• If you do not know their parents or guardian, be sure to introduce yourself to them.
• Meet with the young person at a mutually convenient location. It may be hwere you work, at your place of worship, at a public park, in a restaurant or somewhere else that is safe and convenient.
• Listen. Talk. Learn. Enjoy your new friend.